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Hey people!
I now have a new lj account which i will be using from now on : )
Im now pixie_xx_dust
So check it out ( i warn you its not that thrilling yet!) and add me!
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April 27th, 2007
March 18th, 2007
March 17th, 2007
Havent written on here in a while!!
Facebook has become my new obsession!! swear im going to fail my degree because of its very existence!!!! Maybe i should ban myself from going on it??!! lol
So it be st patricks today!! woop. thinkies im going to go rave it up somewhere!! and probably end up getting super super drunkard!!
Went out last night and got more pissed than i initially intended to!! ha! i was okays until these people we met gave us free shots! which were skanky and fool and a very very very high percentage ofs alchyhol!!! : ) That got me a little tipsy!!!! but also made me feel a little unwell!!! Got back to mine at some ridiculous time and decided to cook!! : S drunk cooking is soooooooo much fun!! ha !! i cooked fishfingers then we had stir fry!! although the people i share the kitchen with werent too impressed by the state the kitchen was left in oopsie!! : ) but thats a student for you!! ha ha ha
I think i finally knows how ali feels about me. he still hasnt said "i love you" but he says that when he wakes up each morning he thinks about me and that he thinks im wonderful!! : D yaaaaaaay that makes me super dooper happy and smiley!! wooop
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Facebook has become my new obsession!! swear im going to fail my degree because of its very existence!!!! Maybe i should ban myself from going on it??!! lol
So it be st patricks today!! woop. thinkies im going to go rave it up somewhere!! and probably end up getting super super drunkard!!
Went out last night and got more pissed than i initially intended to!! ha! i was okays until these people we met gave us free shots! which were skanky and fool and a very very very high percentage ofs alchyhol!!! : ) That got me a little tipsy!!!! but also made me feel a little unwell!!! Got back to mine at some ridiculous time and decided to cook!! : S drunk cooking is soooooooo much fun!! ha !! i cooked fishfingers then we had stir fry!! although the people i share the kitchen with werent too impressed by the state the kitchen was left in oopsie!! : ) but thats a student for you!! ha ha ha
I think i finally knows how ali feels about me. he still hasnt said "i love you" but he says that when he wakes up each morning he thinks about me and that he thinks im wonderful!! : D yaaaaaaay that makes me super dooper happy and smiley!! wooop
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happyMarch 10th, 2007
What does your best friend call you? I have quite a few nicknames : O lau, lau lau, lj, stressy, stressball, baboon, pixie, jenko, smirnoff ice girl, ice queen!!
How many people would you say you've been "serious" with? Two
Have you ever streaked? Nopes..too self concious for that .....well whilst sober !!!
Would you prefer a thunderstorm or for it to be snowing? Snowing cos its pwetty and you can make snow angels and go sledging!! hee hee such a little kid : ) even though i hate the cold *shivers*
Who do you call the most? Err more of a texty girly to be honest!! only really call people when drunk!!
What is your favorite thing to shop for? Jewellery, clothes and handbags!! : )
What company is your cell phone provider? T - mobile
Have you ever kissed just a friend? Yes
Who is your most recent crush? Matt bellamy - Mr muse man!! lol
What is your pet's name? Jake
What were you doing 4 hours ago? Just getting out of bed !! : O
Where did you go to today? To sainsburys!! lol
In school, how was/is your attendance record? At school it twas okays cos i was a goody two shoes!! but at uni that all seems to have gone out the window! : S really must start going to all my lectures!!
Do you like spicy foods? Indeeeeeeeeedi : )
What friend do you get along with the best? Most of them <3
Have you ever fought for the opposite sex? Kinda
Are you that good at math? Ha! your having a giraffe!!!
What do you get complimented on the most? My smile : ) *grins*
Do/did you listen to your parents? Kinda...but just tend to rebel against them!! aaah the joys of uni : )
At what age did you learn to ride a bike? 2/3????
What's your favorite holiday? Dunno
Have you ever gone to a concert? Im going to see Muse in june *jumps up and down* wahoooooooooooooo
When was the last time you drove out of town? I cant drive : (
Ever dyed your hair? Yes and it turned orange !! : O damn thing
Do you kiss with your eyes open or shut? Shut but sometimes i peek!! : P aaah kisses *dreams*
Do you have any siblings? Do you get along? 4 of the things! kinda
What brand of shirt did you wear today? A black one with glitter on it from new look
Who is one celebrity you can't stand? Hugh Grant
Do you cry a lot? Hell yes
Would you rather date Leonardo DiCaprio or Matt Damon? Matt Damon : p
Do you act more silly or serious? Depends..both : )
Are you good at keeping secrets? Yeps
Did you participate in gym class? Kinda
Do you have any superstitions? Mirrors, magpies
Would you rather save or spend your money? Spend!!! : D
Do you ever wear hats? Sometimes
Do you ever get hit on? Yes
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How many people would you say you've been "serious" with? Two
Have you ever streaked? Nopes..too self concious for that .....well whilst sober !!!
Would you prefer a thunderstorm or for it to be snowing? Snowing cos its pwetty and you can make snow angels and go sledging!! hee hee such a little kid : ) even though i hate the cold *shivers*
Who do you call the most? Err more of a texty girly to be honest!! only really call people when drunk!!
What is your favorite thing to shop for? Jewellery, clothes and handbags!! : )
What company is your cell phone provider? T - mobile
Have you ever kissed just a friend? Yes
Who is your most recent crush? Matt bellamy - Mr muse man!! lol
What is your pet's name? Jake
What were you doing 4 hours ago? Just getting out of bed !! : O
Where did you go to today? To sainsburys!! lol
In school, how was/is your attendance record? At school it twas okays cos i was a goody two shoes!! but at uni that all seems to have gone out the window! : S really must start going to all my lectures!!
Do you like spicy foods? Indeeeeeeeeedi : )
What friend do you get along with the best? Most of them <3
Have you ever fought for the opposite sex? Kinda
Are you that good at math? Ha! your having a giraffe!!!
What do you get complimented on the most? My smile : ) *grins*
Do/did you listen to your parents? Kinda...but just tend to rebel against them!! aaah the joys of uni : )
At what age did you learn to ride a bike? 2/3????
What's your favorite holiday? Dunno
Have you ever gone to a concert? Im going to see Muse in june *jumps up and down* wahoooooooooooooo
When was the last time you drove out of town? I cant drive : (
Ever dyed your hair? Yes and it turned orange !! : O damn thing
Do you kiss with your eyes open or shut? Shut but sometimes i peek!! : P aaah kisses *dreams*
Do you have any siblings? Do you get along? 4 of the things! kinda
What brand of shirt did you wear today? A black one with glitter on it from new look
Who is one celebrity you can't stand? Hugh Grant
Do you cry a lot? Hell yes
Would you rather date Leonardo DiCaprio or Matt Damon? Matt Damon : p
Do you act more silly or serious? Depends..both : )
Are you good at keeping secrets? Yeps
Did you participate in gym class? Kinda
Do you have any superstitions? Mirrors, magpies
Would you rather save or spend your money? Spend!!! : D
Do you ever wear hats? Sometimes
Do you ever get hit on? Yes
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February 28th, 2007
ive made an appointment with the counsellor but apparently the waiting list is seven to ten days = ( but at least ive made the appointment!
On happier stuff i have found somewhere to live next year!!! woop!! = D im gonna be living with six other people in a flat which is only ten mins from the uni and close to all the shops!!! hee hee = )
Visiting lexy this weekend in bath spa too which will be kewlio and she knows where mr johnny depp lives!!! yaaaaaaaay ha! then on monday i should be in cardiff for my uncles funeral = ( but that means i have loads of work to do before the weekend cos my second seminar presentation is on the tuesday! Feck i have a seminar presentation tomorro too boo = ( oh wells should be off out tonight to wtch a film at the su but its a war film aparently = S not my first choice but pfft
haves a kewlio night
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On happier stuff i have found somewhere to live next year!!! woop!! = D im gonna be living with six other people in a flat which is only ten mins from the uni and close to all the shops!!! hee hee = )
Visiting lexy this weekend in bath spa too which will be kewlio and she knows where mr johnny depp lives!!! yaaaaaaaay ha! then on monday i should be in cardiff for my uncles funeral = ( but that means i have loads of work to do before the weekend cos my second seminar presentation is on the tuesday! Feck i have a seminar presentation tomorro too boo = ( oh wells should be off out tonight to wtch a film at the su but its a war film aparently = S not my first choice but pfft
haves a kewlio night
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blankFebruary 24th, 2007
My uncle died on thursday - alis birthday = ( i did the usual lau thing cried for ten minutes then went out and got drunk to block it all out and plus i had to be all smiley cos it was alis birthday and i didnt want to ruin it for him. later that night as i sat watching a candle flame i realsied that we all have to die at some point and that we should all just enjoy life cos youll never get this time back. so i guess it made me realise how precious life is so now im gonna live life in as happy and postive mood as i can = )
I think the main reason i was soo upset about my uncles death was because my family didnt even ring me up to tell me about it..they sent a text and it wasnt even from my dad- i expected my dad to tell me cos it was his brother and my mum and my dads side of the family dont really speak. the funeral will be this week coming i expect...i bet i wont be invited = ( its not like i used to see my uncle that often but it still hurts that i wont see him again and he was family. I will be soo angry if my younger half brother and sister go and my dads 'lover'. I mean it should be my mum that goes seeing as she is married to my dad! Why do my dads side of the family think its acceptable for my dad to fuck off and have an affair, father two kids and still carry on like everything is okay with my mum when hes still seeing this other women. There was a point when i kinda accepted what my dad did and became close to rach (person he had the affair with) but these last few weeks ive become angry at what my dad did. But to be honest im here in uni so im just gonna let him get on with it and play happy families.
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I think the main reason i was soo upset about my uncles death was because my family didnt even ring me up to tell me about it..they sent a text and it wasnt even from my dad- i expected my dad to tell me cos it was his brother and my mum and my dads side of the family dont really speak. the funeral will be this week coming i expect...i bet i wont be invited = ( its not like i used to see my uncle that often but it still hurts that i wont see him again and he was family. I will be soo angry if my younger half brother and sister go and my dads 'lover'. I mean it should be my mum that goes seeing as she is married to my dad! Why do my dads side of the family think its acceptable for my dad to fuck off and have an affair, father two kids and still carry on like everything is okay with my mum when hes still seeing this other women. There was a point when i kinda accepted what my dad did and became close to rach (person he had the affair with) but these last few weeks ive become angry at what my dad did. But to be honest im here in uni so im just gonna let him get on with it and play happy families.
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February 21st, 2007
February 20th, 2007
February 14th, 2007
valentines day looks like its gonna be pretty damn kewl!! = D
have the flowers and im off to spend the night with ali soonish = D
yaaaaaaaaaaaaaaay
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have the flowers and im off to spend the night with ali soonish = D
yaaaaaaaaaaaaaaay
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boredFebruary 13th, 2007
Tis really nice having lj back again, did start to panic a bit when my old laptop decided to be rude and not to work, guess felt lonely without lj cos its the only place really where i can get things off my chest and blab about how shit im feeling.
Have had all my lectures/seminars for the day but i have loadsa work cos i missed three lectures last week and so have to catch up with that work as well as doing all my reading for this week and some for next week = ( lol. Damn uni work!!
So it be valentines tomorrow = D yaaaay. Am really looking forward to it for some starnge reason. I know to most other people its just another day of the year and a commercialised day at that but i dunno guess it just makes me feel loved and appreciated. Hopefully will be doing something fun otherwise therell be trouble and its the orbital valentines bar crawl tomorrow so another excuse to go get tipsy!! ha ha ha . Yay = )
My eatings been okay so far, guess im just gonna take it slowly and try not to punish myself for every little thing i eat. Will be hard but i just wanna be healthy and happy = ) Ate a packet of doritos without feeling too guilty on sunday so hopefully thats a sign of things to come.
Reallly must start this pile of work but i need to go to sainsburys and may be seeing ali for an hour - damn him and his work!! - so ill probably start my work in the evening but knowing me ill get distracted and will probably end up standing in the corridor talking to matt for an hour like last night!! hee hee . the joy of the Hawthorns = )
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ps may have found somewhere to live next year!! woop. keeps your fingers crossed !!
February 10th, 2007
Rahhhhhh!!!! Soo i aint been on for ageees that be cos meine lappy toppy decided to go and break!! but nows i have a brand spanking new one!! yaaaaaaaay so i have the tinternet backs! ooh how ive missed myspace, msn and lj! sad sad moi! lol
So my eatings being random of late really wanna go back to ana but at the moi i just seem to be eating crap food which i suppose is kinda good but at the same bad! i dunno guess im kinda mixed up but yeah alis been pressuring me (in a good way) to make an appointment at the consellor...scares the crap out of me opening up to some random stranger but who knows may help in some small way...or maybe itll just make it worse like admitting all ur problems and faults and bringing up the past. cos to be honest although anorexia is partly to do with media coverage of models and celebs u cant solely blame it on that...its more deep rooted. Guess i like to keep myself to myself well until im drunk .
tis nice to be home for the weekend makes me realise just how muh i miss my friends and how lonely i actually am at uni. guess no one really knows how lonely i am at uni cos i kinda put a brave face on...hopefully things will get better and woop i have an all u can drink for ten squid on monday so yaaaaay drunknness for me!! am out tonight as well yaaaaaaaay smirnoff ice drinking for me tonight!! am gonna take loadsa piccies so u can see what an exeter night out looks like! lol
have meine second tattoo as well wahoooo....a star on meine hip!! yay. am starting to get slight;y addicted now though....oopsie!! lol dont think my parents will be too happy if i get many more !! ha ha ha
anyhoo im off to drink more smirnoff ice and then go out
byeeeeeeeee x
So my eatings being random of late really wanna go back to ana but at the moi i just seem to be eating crap food which i suppose is kinda good but at the same bad! i dunno guess im kinda mixed up but yeah alis been pressuring me (in a good way) to make an appointment at the consellor...scares the crap out of me opening up to some random stranger but who knows may help in some small way...or maybe itll just make it worse like admitting all ur problems and faults and bringing up the past. cos to be honest although anorexia is partly to do with media coverage of models and celebs u cant solely blame it on that...its more deep rooted. Guess i like to keep myself to myself well until im drunk .
tis nice to be home for the weekend makes me realise just how muh i miss my friends and how lonely i actually am at uni. guess no one really knows how lonely i am at uni cos i kinda put a brave face on...hopefully things will get better and woop i have an all u can drink for ten squid on monday so yaaaaay drunknness for me!! am out tonight as well yaaaaaaaay smirnoff ice drinking for me tonight!! am gonna take loadsa piccies so u can see what an exeter night out looks like! lol
have meine second tattoo as well wahoooo....a star on meine hip!! yay. am starting to get slight;y addicted now though....oopsie!! lol dont think my parents will be too happy if i get many more !! ha ha ha
anyhoo im off to drink more smirnoff ice and then go out
byeeeeeeeee x
February 4th, 2007
Soo alis coming over and we be going to watch a film = ) and hes bringing alcohol thank fuck !! had a couple of glasses to get me in the mood and now seem rather sober = O god i sound like a right alcoholic but i did think he was coming over sooner and tbh after a couple of sips of wine im pissed!!! lol
Cant wait to go home now but it seems ageeeees away = ( i dont know i guess im feeling kinda lonely at uni = ( its wierd i dont know why considering there be loadsa people here and i get on with most of them but i guess they just dont know me as well as my friends back in exeter do?!?! Oh wells by tomorrow ill prob be thinking differently!!!! i do tend to chance my outlook and opinons on a whim!! hee hee. lol
righty ho id better go clean my room and hide the evidence of drunken smoking!!! lol. = D
night people = D haves a good one!!
love me
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Cant wait to go home now but it seems ageeeees away = ( i dont know i guess im feeling kinda lonely at uni = ( its wierd i dont know why considering there be loadsa people here and i get on with most of them but i guess they just dont know me as well as my friends back in exeter do?!?! Oh wells by tomorrow ill prob be thinking differently!!!! i do tend to chance my outlook and opinons on a whim!! hee hee. lol
righty ho id better go clean my room and hide the evidence of drunken smoking!!! lol. = D
night people = D haves a good one!!
love me
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February 3rd, 2007
I never realised just how impatient i am till today!! Really i got to stop checking my phone!! Aargh why cant people text back straight away?!?! Really bugs me!!! lol
Soo ive done my good deed for the day..agreeing to give money once a month to charity!! = O Only just starting to realise that i may actually not be able to afford it but i kinda got swept up in the whole thing!! and he flirted with me and i was in a happy mood!!!! lol. Oh wells at least im helping to save some lives = D
Mwah ha ha i am now the owner of fabulicious new flip flops!! Woop! Go me!! The flip flop queen!! Yaaaay. They be ever so sparkly!! Hee hee!! Bring on summer! Heck no ill just wear them now!
Someone please take my phone away from me!!
Am going home AGAIN on thursday!! Ha ha ha ....dont get me wrong i love uni and all but i duuno its nice to see more familiar faces sometimes and its nice just to spend a couple of days there!! Makes me appreciate uni more and what ive achieved!
Anyways that be a random pointless entry but wayhey!!
Hopes ur all kewl
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Soo ive done my good deed for the day..agreeing to give money once a month to charity!! = O Only just starting to realise that i may actually not be able to afford it but i kinda got swept up in the whole thing!! and he flirted with me and i was in a happy mood!!!! lol. Oh wells at least im helping to save some lives = D
Mwah ha ha i am now the owner of fabulicious new flip flops!! Woop! Go me!! The flip flop queen!! Yaaaay. They be ever so sparkly!! Hee hee!! Bring on summer! Heck no ill just wear them now!
Someone please take my phone away from me!!
Am going home AGAIN on thursday!! Ha ha ha ....dont get me wrong i love uni and all but i duuno its nice to see more familiar faces sometimes and its nice just to spend a couple of days there!! Makes me appreciate uni more and what ive achieved!
Anyways that be a random pointless entry but wayhey!!
Hopes ur all kewl
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February 2nd, 2007
Yaaay no more lectures for a whole three days!!! woop!! = D but i do have loadsa reading to do and loadsa books to go buy = ( humph!! at least it will make me look more intelligent having all those books scattered around the room!!
Went to the spoons after my first lecture with fellow theologians and had a veggie breakfast but how typical was it that mine turned up late despite ordering it before some other people! anyways was a nice way to spend the gap between lectures and we ended up randomly discussing toys from our childhood ie pogs, yoyos, barbies, power rangers...etc etc!! Hopefully thatll become a regular friday thing = )
Thinks this weekend is gonna be spent reading and making notes although i do feel a need to do shopping and i need more stationary!! yaaaaaay. May go to the zoo hmmmm
Suppose id better be off to waterstones to get all these boooks!!
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Went to the spoons after my first lecture with fellow theologians and had a veggie breakfast but how typical was it that mine turned up late despite ordering it before some other people! anyways was a nice way to spend the gap between lectures and we ended up randomly discussing toys from our childhood ie pogs, yoyos, barbies, power rangers...etc etc!! Hopefully thatll become a regular friday thing = )
Thinks this weekend is gonna be spent reading and making notes although i do feel a need to do shopping and i need more stationary!! yaaaaaay. May go to the zoo hmmmm
Suppose id better be off to waterstones to get all these boooks!!
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February 1st, 2007
why when ive been drinking do i think how crap my life is ? why do i always think i could be thinner? why do i cut myself?
i wish i was thinner. i wish i could wave a magic wand and id be perfect..the perfect size/the perfect person. why do i have to eat? i wish i could stop thinking about myself in terms of calories ive consumed/the size i am but i guess thatll always be part of me. why do i have to feel like this? why cant i be happy with whom i am? i guess thats the lagacy of an eating disorder. i wish i could stop these feelings yet at the same time they seem comforting. i wish someone else felt the same. i feel sooo alone and soo selfish for even feeling this way. aaargh. sometimes life sucks = ( x
i wish i was thinner. i wish i could wave a magic wand and id be perfect..the perfect size/the perfect person. why do i have to eat? i wish i could stop thinking about myself in terms of calories ive consumed/the size i am but i guess thatll always be part of me. why do i have to feel like this? why cant i be happy with whom i am? i guess thats the lagacy of an eating disorder. i wish i could stop these feelings yet at the same time they seem comforting. i wish someone else felt the same. i feel sooo alone and soo selfish for even feeling this way. aaargh. sometimes life sucks = ( x
scaredhow pooey no one wants to go out = ( x that means ill have to do my work so that i dont become bored as hell! damn people
Men are only after one thing!!..................sex!!! I really should learn when someone wants to add me to msn!! This morning i added someone who then started questioning me about my sex life and bra size and proceeded to tell me he was going to go and masturbate!! What a twat as if im going tell him stuff like that!!! God i have a bf and even then im not gonna discuss stuff like that with random people!!!! aaargh makes me sooo mad!! Are all men like that...well i know that my friends....
Anyways i have a seminar to attend = ( Feel much better this morning although i do keep sneezing!! Ha ha ha
Speak later
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January 31st, 2007
Righty ho i be off to bed in a mo cos i still be feeling a bit dodgy!! One to many strepsils i thinkies!! = O
anyways i just want to get a few things off my chest. Firstly i have apologies to make. I know that in the past i have said some quite bitchy and hurtful stuff to people and said things i now regret soo much. I know ive used the word hate quite a lot and i apologise cos i dont hate anyone and i tend to overuse that word loooaaads. I guess when ive been a cow ive been at my lowest and i just take all the crappyness and shittyness im feeling out on people. I know that im selfish and i freely admit that im probably not the bestest person in the world. I guess now that im starting to feel happy again in myself i want to clear things up with people and leave the past where it should be.... in the past. I guess ill always be me....stressy! have a short temper! be bitchy sometimes but hopefully i wont take things that annoy me or get me down on those around me. Ok so im waffling and im probably guessing that doesnt make the slightest bit of sense but pffft. Hopefully youll be able to work out what im saying......ha a little puzzle!! lol.
What im trying to say is sorry for being a bitch.
Ps. i will try and stop getting in stressys but then where would lau be without her stresses!! Ha ali u aint seen the half of me little stresses yet!! mwha ha ha!!
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nighty nighty
anyways i just want to get a few things off my chest. Firstly i have apologies to make. I know that in the past i have said some quite bitchy and hurtful stuff to people and said things i now regret soo much. I know ive used the word hate quite a lot and i apologise cos i dont hate anyone and i tend to overuse that word loooaaads. I guess when ive been a cow ive been at my lowest and i just take all the crappyness and shittyness im feeling out on people. I know that im selfish and i freely admit that im probably not the bestest person in the world. I guess now that im starting to feel happy again in myself i want to clear things up with people and leave the past where it should be.... in the past. I guess ill always be me....stressy! have a short temper! be bitchy sometimes but hopefully i wont take things that annoy me or get me down on those around me. Ok so im waffling and im probably guessing that doesnt make the slightest bit of sense but pffft. Hopefully youll be able to work out what im saying......ha a little puzzle!! lol.
What im trying to say is sorry for being a bitch.
Ps. i will try and stop getting in stressys but then where would lau be without her stresses!! Ha ali u aint seen the half of me little stresses yet!! mwha ha ha!!
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nighty nighty